Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I'm Homesick...

I am homesick. I know some of you are thinking that since I've lived in the United States for 11 years, I call this home. Well, it is kinda my second home, but not really. Home is Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, the city and country I was born and raised in till my move in 1999. Oh, I remember very vividly those days (the good ole days) I spent in Dar. I remember all my friends in Upanga, the neighborhood I grew up in. We had some amazing times together, just the kind of fun every child should be entitled to. Unfortunately, sin causes millions of children to suffer worldwide. But not to worry. One day, they will be with God and all suffering will end. Tanzania to me, is the most beautiful country in the world. We are not anywhere near the wealth of most Western nations, but we are wealthy in ways that the West can only dream of. The natural surroundings by themselves, are just jaw-dropping to the average European (White) tourist. But to me, a native, it is what I perceive to be normal. Beaches at my convenience whenever I felt like going. Food that was just to die for, and the type of diversity that I only wish the DC (Washington) area possessed. Most importantly, little to no worries...just laid back!

I love Dar. I love Tanzania. I love my people and my family. I always get joy out of seeing them, since I rarely get to see them from this other side of the world. What my mother always tells me is that she has learned so much from living in the United States, but Tanzania is where her heart is. I can relate to how she feels and I thank God that she is back home. Now all I have to do is finish with my undergraduate and graduate studies, then I can return home to live a wonderful life and fulfill God's plan for my life. Tanzania, Tanzania. Nakupenda kwa moyo wote... This line is from one of our two national anthems which translates "Tanzania, Tanzania. I love you with all my heart." And that is how I feel about home. HOME IS HOME. I long for the day when I'll finally be able to leave this country in which I grew up, to go back to Tanzania, where I spent my childhood days. I'll finally be able to live my adult life in Tanzania and rejuvenate my Kiswahili vocab, because I really never got the chance to learn the full language because I left at such a young age.
With all this homesickness, it will still be a very difficult transition for me to leave what I am used to and return to Tanzania. I want to leave this country, but at the same time, I am scared of the outcome. I am used to the many services at my convenience offered in this country; services which are unheard of in Tanzania and many African countries. I will have to train myself first to get used to my homeland again. Doing things like visiting Tanzania often and communicating more with my associates and family members there to find out how Tanzania has changed, just so that I can prepare myself. It won't be easy, but I do know in the long run, it will be well worth it.

Bongoland (Tanzania), just give me a few more years to finish my studies, and I will come back to you...

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